1. Name calling is only okay if it is inventive, smart, and does not contain any of the following words: stupid, retard, bitch, asshole, cunt, loser, crazy, etc. Basically, any curse word or something a fourth grader takes as an insult.
2. Going personal. I'm going to talk about your dead father, the time you were raped, and the pet fish you ate because you're poor. Well, what kind of argument are you having? Is it with a friend or family member? Do you really never want to talk to this person again? Did they sleep with your significant other? Kill your grandmother? Shoot you? If you're going to make this argument personal you need to be aware of the consequences. The more personal you get, the further away you drive the other person and further off topic you get.
The real question: Are you TRYING to make a point? Because if you are, stop. Stop now. Do not bring up any personal business or secrets you know about the other person. It is irrelevant and makes you look like an ass. In fact, it actually gives your rival props for taking it and you lose any respect you may have gotten by keeping your mouth shut.
3. DO NOT GET UPSET! You can get mad, but only if it's righteous anger. Your emotions will ruin you. Anger will cloud your judgment and you will fail steps 1 and 2. Stay smart, stay aloof, and calculate your next move.
4. Laugh. Laugh at EVERY dumb thing they say. It will keep your spirits up and if you stay away from personal issues, you are golden.
So next time you want to call me a stupid bitch or a crazy bitch, or a loser... remember something: I know I'm smarter than you. I also know just how crazy I really am and that's why I'm laughing at you!
Don't bully me, I fight back. Don't attack me, I bite. Don't ridicule me, I have an extensive vocabulary and I am not afraid to use it. You want your pound of flesh, you better look elsewhere. I know who I am and I'm made of stone!
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